Small Comfort in Unbearable Times

These past two weeks, we find ourselves in the midst of what is hard to bear. Both nationally and close to home, we ponder what responsible leadership looks like and mourn the loss of innocence. A sense of safety is denied to us when those who were meant to be in positions of trust betray our ideals, acting in ways that harm the people around them. This harms the very fabric of the community.

I do not know what we expected of this new year. However, neither of us likely expected to see people inside of the Capitol Building in Washington D.C. waving Confederate flags. I never imagined I’d see blood on the floor in our nation’s capital. We never imagined blood would be spilled there during violent clashes between police and people attempting to stop a democratic government from doing its duty. I find myself shaken, and I imagine that many of you may be as well. Now, you might be wondering with me, “where is our grounding? What can we have faith in when our institutions are rocked and buffeted by such blows?”

I come back, in these moments, to the eternal bond of love. In this community, we may not all believe in God the same way. Yet, we are each here because we know that the power of love is a power of connection and that a force for justice stronger than anything. So in this moment, I return us to the clarity that we shall love one another fiercely, and defend our values. We know that every single person is worthy of care. We know that it is a tragedy that people were incited and misled into situations where they harmed one another and even caused death.

Out of this love, I find a fierce and burning anger that a person who held the responsibility of leadership for an entire nation selfishly chose to misuse his office and his speaking platform to turn people’s hearts toward hate and encourage them to commit violence against those committed to the democratic processes that affirm every person’s voice in our society. That action was evil. It was selfish. If I did the same as the minister of your community, know that it would be professional misconduct. You should both report and refuse to follow a minister or any leader who exploits their followers for their own purposes and ego, for they are no longer doing the work they are called to do as a responsible leader.

So, what do we tell one another?

We say that we hold fast to love, and that we are responsible for our response.

We affirm that we, together, share responsibility for holding our boundaries and our values close in this difficult time.

Additionally, if you were not aware, a local and recently retired teacher was recently arrested for sexual assault of a minor. This means that in our community, there may be adults and children who looked up to this person, who are feeling rocked and devastated by this betrayal of the professional ethics of teaching and by the knowledge that harm was done to at least one child. This is a moment for our community to care for one another. We also need to be transparent about our own commitment to sexual safety in our congregation.

Pastoral Care

I invite you to reach out as you need to at this time. If you are feeling grief, anger, numbness, bewilderment, sorrow, confusion, rage… or anything else, or nothing at all but a buzzing emptiness… this is normal. We are all processing at our own paces, and in our own ways. But you need not do it alone. Please feel welcome to reach out to Rev. Elizabeth Mount, or any member of our Board or Committee on Ministry, if you need a listening ear or loving message of support.

Congregational Response

In addition to offering pastoral care and responsiveness to individual concerns, we are offering an opportunity on Sunday for children and adults to each have a space dedicated to care for those who may need to process their feelings about this news. Our Director of Religious Exploration, Penny Vick, and I (Rev. Elizabeth Mount) are in conversation about the ways in which we hope to refresh our procedures. We will have resources available for anyone who may be affected and need support. We will also review and update our own child safety policies before we are together in person again.

This has been a congregation that values children, values safety, teaches consent, and fosters good and thorough lifelong sexuality education. All of those things come together to make this a place where I hope that we will use this awful news as an opportunity to openly address the harm and move through our feelings together, and reconnect with our values, using policy and procedural updates to affirm our commitments to our children and Youth.